The FF-Files: Sir, This is a Wendy’s

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“I had the best laid plans this side of America, started out in church and finished with Angelica. And now I dig it in the dirt, and I'm down here for a while...”
—The Cure, “Wrong Number”

“I have this guy who decided to blackmail my wife for $$$ I want to teach this prick a lesson without going to jail. I Hope you can help and I hope he will accept.”

That is a direct quote from an email we received at Sherdog Fight Finder, with the title simply “MMA fight.” In case the quote did not make things abundantly clear, this individual wanted Sherdog to set up an MMA event for him so that he could try to beat someone up legally. This jewel is one of many that Sherdog receives, when it comes to requests not related to what we do. The names and identities have been removed, but the quotes otherwise remain as written.

Plenty of individuals ask us to run their events, ask us how to run their events, or even on occasion, look to co-promote a fight card with our team. As a reminder, Sherdog is a neutral, recordkeeping body when it comes to MMA events. In the past, our organization has sponsored individual events, hosted the streams on our page and even placed our staff members on commentary. What we have never done, and never will do, is put on fights ourselves. There will not be a “Sherdog Fight League,” for good reason. It would completely remove any possible impartiality we would have covering any person involved, not to mention placing our news and media organization in direct competition with any number of promotions we cover regularly. It is, put simply, an unfathomable conflict of interest.

“Im from Turkey . My name [redacted]. Im years old 22. I wanna fihgt”

On first glance, you’d think, “good for you, redacted” for being proactive about starting a fighting career. That was the extent of the message, however. Maybe it is on us for the contact form writing, “Updating fighter profiles, event results or other MMA requests,” and people think that is a catch-all for anything related to the sport? This would be like reaching out to CNN and saying, “I want to run for office.” Go to a gym, maybe start from there. We’re not the best jumping-off point.

“I want to ask you, because otherwise, as a small child, I used to fight with a German shepherd during school holidays, I liked to fight a lot, but because I live in a small-town mentality where they are otherwise envious of other people's success and are very jealous because I have a Chechen mentality ,I would like to do ufc...!”

You what now? Is the “Dagestan mentality” fighting with bears, and the “Chechen mentality” fighting with dogs? Why would you fight with a German shepherd on holidays? Was there a special underground man vs. beast tournament that was only available when kids were out of school? When one receives these types of emails, sometimes the best response is none at all. What could a staff member here say to initiate and carry on this conversation? Some things may be better left unsaid.

“How can I get into a fight,” asks [redacted].

Go down to your local dive bar and start throwing hands? This, like the above emails, were written in English and not subjected to some kind of online translation software that butchered the wording. We presume this individual wanted to engage in consensual MMA competition, and was not just looking for any old scrap. We’ll tell you the same thing that we did for the person from Turkey: the first step is to start training. Otherwise, you might get yourself hurt. If you want to book a fight, talk to any number of local fight leagues out there. They’d love to have you.

From [redacted]: “please call me @ [redacted number]”

No.

“Hello, how are you doing today? Are you available for fitness training for my two girls?”

Yes, of course, because the primary organization to request physical training is from a news and media outlet. Who do you think you’re contacting? This person reached out to the specific Fight Finder address of fightfinder@sherdog.com, and did not use a contact form or get in touch with us some other way. This was a direct request from this individual, which rules out them sending it to the wrong person as the submitter had to punch in our address before emailing us. How do Fridays at 3 p.m. sound?

“Hey Baby. Haven’t registered the first event yet?”

This one was not entirely directed at the wrong people, but it was too good to pass up. This upstart league in Iran was so gung-ho on getting into the Fight Finder database that the presumed head of the league decided it was in his best interest to email Sherdog staff members upwards of eight times in a day. Naturally, when a new organization crops up in the Middle East, the Sherdog Fight Finder team has to do extra legwork verifying its existence and legitimacy. Sometimes, a fake league will hit us up claiming they put on some fight card in X country, but it was actually someone else’s event in, for example, a hoity-toity hotel in Turkey. In the span of a week, they threw over 20 emails at the staff for this one show, providing a document riddled with errors in dire need of corrections. Hey baby, would you believe that not all your videos checked out?



“For Yana Gadelha”, the submitter wrote in all caps. “I have no training. I watch MMA on TV. I want to show you something during many fights! No fighter throws elbow strikes to knee. No fighter throws hammer fits to opponent’s thigh/quad! Remember elbow strike the kneecap!”

This unsolicited email, directed towards professional fighter Gadelha, came several months after her last performance at Invicta FC 48. It even included a screenshot, one that we would be remiss if we did not attach below. What with the popularity of the “Karate Kid” franchise thanks to the top-notch show “Cobra Kai,” maybe this person is trying to make “strike the kneecap” the 2023 version of “sweep the leg.” Did they think that emailing Sherdog Fight Finder would be how to let her know, or that she would welcome advice from an untrained fan? When has that ever worked out?

“We look forward to receiving your response to enable us to proceed with the transfer of your inheritance funds.”

Everyone receives those fake inheritance-type emails, where they ask for your details like your banking information and in exchange, they will wire you millions of dollars from a special account. Why did we point it out here? Someone had to go out of their way to send it to the official Sherdog Fight Finder email address. We’re not just some random personal email account on Hotmail. What’s worse is that this came to Fight Finder as a blind carbon copy, which for some reason included our address on a distribution list from a Russian legal firm – given that the email inadvertently included an info tag to that firm. Do svidaniya, don’t get any on ya.

If you send an email to fightfinder@sherdog.com, please make sure it actually has to do with Sherdog Fight Finder.